Why I’ve been so Quiet Lately

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HAVING RECEIVED SOME KIND MESSAGES asking why I’ve been so quiet lately, I thought I’d better say something. The fact is that I’ve been completely rethinking my entire existence. A while back (beginning in 2011 and solidifying in 2012), as some of you know, I put myself into a kind of voluntary mental / emotional / spiritual exile which started off in an ivory tower (in Sweden), transitioned to a hermitage (in Spain) then morphed into a bare blasted basement (in Germany) — though I still went through the visible motions of “normalcy”. Some de-structive movement had been intensifying within me which was to do with elements disintegrating and dying. It has been as if an acid wind was howling through my whole being, blasting it into dust (see picture). The pain (not physical) was excruciating, like being on the rack. I almost felt as if I was under a curse and everything (even all precious things) were being stripped away from me by force. Yet, at the same time, a kind of calm sense of acceptance descended on me and I have simply been bemused by the whole process. When I came to Berlin I was fully expecting to die in some soonish time. (Some perceptive people detected this in my poetry). I had given up, though I was creating like a whirlwind more than ever. (These last three years have yielded many poems and songs — nearly 600 — both dark and light, which is as it should be). I reached my lowest ebb around Christmas 2014. But as the end of the year approached, some strange and surprising shift occurred. That shift then turned into a tsunami during January which has altered everything. Now, with half the solar system’s heavenly bodies in my sun-sign (Pisces), I seem to be poised on the edge of a newness for which I can hardly find the words. (“Astronomical” is one). I can’t say anything more about this now as it is an incomplete process and I am awaiting ratification and confirmation. But within the next couple of months the view from where I am sitting could look very different. Before that couple of months is complete, you will be the first to know. To those who have taken an interest, thank you from my heart for being there…

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