Grass in Monochrome [poem]

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Some people
when they want something
they cannot have
will want it all the more.
when it becomes available
they’re not so sure.

How does this situation come about?
what fans the flames
of such desire
when greenness of grass
on other sides
sets hearts afire
yet when that grass
becomes the grass of home
it loses its vivacity
extinguishes its flames
and turns from green
to monochrome?

Here’s one way
how that comes to be:
When they were small
they longed for something
which they could not have.
Example is a parent
who just one day
quit the home
which left their little children
with a yearning heart
desiring that their
roaming mum or dad
would reappear and start
once more
the happy clappy family
idealised in their unformed minds.
But if they did come back
they’d always wonder
if one day
that dad or mum
would disappear
off the grid again
and leave them feeling
once more
overcome with pain.

And so a conflict is established
in their childish hearts
of wanting something badly
if it restarts
they know could cause them anguish.
So an engram is laid down
which will determine that
they put themselves
in situations
(not just once
but time and time again)
where they want with passion
elements they cannot have
(especially people
who are unattainable
in every way)
and thus is made their pain.

Yet, if those elements
or people
are there for sure
and open to be had by them
they’ll run a mile or more
or take themselves
to any distant place
where their imaginary peace
could never be effaced
and equilibrium
would not be hassled
by the rude obtrusions
of the all-consuming
naked hand
[but yet, to them,
a bandit-ridden borderland]
of love.

whatever thing they want
they never get
and everything they get
they never want —
a life of unfulfilment
blights their schemes
and all they ever live
is [unaccomplished] hopes
and (never to be realised)
[idealistic] dreams.


© Alan Morrison, 2015

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