LIVING-ROOM VIDEO #25: “I’ve Tried”.
This is the first song I’ve written for almost 18 months. Lots of articles and poems but no songs. Too much other music-making going on in 2016 with recording and releasing “The Key” album in Sweden to be writing songs. But now they’re back. Details in the video. Enjoy!
(Click on the link below the video to read the lyrics)
I’ve tried to be a normal guy
and wander through this maze;
pretending that I’m just like those
whose hearts are not ablaze.
That only lasted for a day —
I couldn’t wear the cloak.
I cannot play at being someone else
who’s just a joke.
I’ve tried to hide myself away
and never show my face —
go off the grid and disappear
without a single trace.
But why should I be forced to flee
while others foment war?
Until my dying breath, I’ll do
what I’ve been put here for.
There’s a fire in the attic
there’s havoc in the hall.
The restless hearts around me
are a stone’s throw from the wall.
I build the sacred puzzle
to grasp the truth at last;
it’s only when you’ve moved on
that you understand what’s passed
(what has passed, O what’s passed…)
I’ve tried the thought of suicide
to end things once for all;
Though that was some decades ago
when I could only crawl.
But since that time, I’ve learned to walk;
I’ve even learned to fly.
I’ve learned that life’s a gift
and is not mine to nullify.
I’ve tried to find the perfect girl
To share my jewels and joy.
But now I just accept that
I’m a solitary boy.
Some folks are only destined
to be married to the wind;
and while the world disintegrates,
to Spirit I am twinned.
I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut tight;
it didn’t last for long!
For words still welled up in my soul
and sparked another song.
It seems I’ll do this till I die,
I never can retire.
I just can’t find the antidote;
I can’t put out the fire.
I’ve tried to progress all my life,
to better who I am.
One day I realised that trying’s
just another sham.
For we can only be who we are
from within our hearts,
or the Muse who fans our flames
abandons us — departs.
© Alan Morrison, 2017