Why am I Here? [poem]

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why_am_i_here

why am I here?
(not ‘here’ as in this place
or in the subatomic space I take
around the world
but in the manner I’ve been hurled
into a bag of whirly proton flesh
conserved in one by beadly bones
a graphic user interface
a standalonely database
which holds more gap than substance
a seethru sheer incumbent airhead
misread crossbred flayed and naysaid
someday brain-dead deathbed monstrance)

those were the words this kisser said
with gusto on a mountaintop
they’d long been voiced before
but what are questions for
if not for asking more
(and more if needs must be
when answers never come
and tears routinely run)
while dangling on the gallows tree
a sword above my head
(just call me Damocles
the man who made his bed
then wouldn’t lie in it)

But then a tiny sound was heard
(or was it none?)
a sound of altered frequency
not that which you and I
can hear with ease
I could not make it out
but this is what it said
…you came here for a roller coaster ride
just like you did the last time
long before you died
and died again
…you came here for
the sheer enjoyment
of the flesh in which
you’re now enmeshed
you thought it fun
before you came
despite the frailness of the frame
and three dimensions next to five
seems lame
…you came here to receive
the gauze caress of joy
and lint of love
for that is what our lives are really for
to somehow find our way back home
to where joy lives beneath the tablecloth
which Gabriel and Raphael have sewn
no fable is that tale though mostly
now unknown and thought to be
a fable by the blind

the sound continued silently
I know that you had long forgetten
how this magnet draws your soulness
to ascend the stairpathway above
(diligently seeking wholeness
at the mercy of surprise
whose blazes quench all lies)
though recently you rediscovered
vestiges of joy
but not those shards of love
of which you once outspoke
(your words not mine
for love need not be shardly
if its depths are swum
in cognisance that
there’s no me or mine
just freely wholly thine plus
unconditionality in time
and during which it’s all as one
never parted awkwardly from
one another’s thrall
such lovers heed the call
to wholeness).

Patience now for soon you’ll be
enveloped in a tsunami
with work to do and then
you’ll face down all your fears and
know just why you’re temporarily
stationed here
in this outlandish atmosphere
.
.
© Alan Morrison, 2013

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